Out of Depression to Anger and beyond

I seem to be coming out of the fog. I understood the anger that created 9/11 and so it was just more hate we had spread around the world coming back to us.

But what really knocked me back was the financial collapse. Did I loose money? No. Did I loose my job, no. it just made future jobs harder to acquire. So why was I affected so much. Financially not so much, emotionally floored. It was as if a friend (these were people who we're suppose to trust) had played a cruel practical joke and when you went to ask why, it was said you were the stupid one.

When trust is broken it never comes back, never fully anyway. So now I am angry and yet as I see the fear and hate being spread, I realize that is not the way to go. So what then?

I am not sure. I am just beginning to see how I can't let other peoples view of how I should be in the world tell me how to be. So much of what we have been told is a lie.

No matter what anyone does, it is because they want to be happy. I am not sure how this financial action that was taken made these people happier, however I do know their happiness will not last because they are looking for it, outside themselves.

Seeing Who I really Am

We so many times see ourselves through the eyes of others. We let thier perspective of who we are define our perspective.

As I learn (again) that it REALLY does not matter what others think or say about who we are, unless we allow ourselves to believe it. That is why when we speak of others we need to realize our words have power in how others are precieved. Speaking only aspects of positiveness makes life better for all.

Remember how you felt when others spoke of you negitivly and how that effected the preception of yourself. We do not know how we will effect others.

Also remember you get to chose how you are effected by what others do or say.
If something makes you feels bad, see how you can change those feelings to make it feel good. We are the only ones responsible for how we feel. Our feelings are telling us if we are connecting with our true self.

I am learning how to allow myself to be in the flow. As a child I thought that life is meant to be fun. As I grew older people told me I had to be serious and It wasn't supposed to be fun. They LIED,but they didn't know that is what they were doing.

Have fun and enjoy the ride. We made it all up anyway.

More Changes

It is still me messing with my own life. The money thing has always been a problem and I am working on getting a new mindset. It seems I have a great deal of conflict with just how I want to make money. I find this much more important than making money and this takes me to the edge, which is where I am now.
I do not believe in the adage " Do whatever it takes " that was the theme of wall st and we see where that got us. So where do I go from here? How do I not be conflicted over how th world is and how I want to be.
Anyway that is how it goes and here I am, still searching.